THE CONNECTION

We encourage you to contribute to – or even start – a conversation with others; to share your story here in an effort to help others feel related to, and, conversely, to gain the support you may be longing for. If even just one person could be reminded that they are not alone in this world, we’d consider this a success.

​

We understand that telling your story may be hard, especially in a public forum. If you’re someone who would like to share your story, but remain private, please email us at forthehayters@gmail.com. We will post your story through our ‘For The Hayters’ profile, so that you may share with full anonymity. You know your story matters; We know so, too.

YOUR STORIES
elmomermaid_
Jan 22

Suicide

1 comment

Let me first say, DONT EVER feel like you're worthless, that you don't deserve to live. Everyone deserves the chance to experience life, even with ups and downs. Like I've said in my last couple of posts, I suffer from severe anxiety, depression and anger problems. I did't really address any of these things properly until a year ago. I'll be 21 soon. I want to live my life to the fullest. I attempted suicide once at 17. I had just dropped out of public school to online classes my junior year. I lost all my friends and others close around me. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. My parents didn't exactly support me dropping out of public school, especially since I was going to start my senior year in August. I never felt so alone and isolated. I had no one to talk to, I didn't even want to talk to my parents about it. So one day when I had the house to myself, I started cutting my wrists and took a whole bottle of sleeping pills and xanex. I was really sick for the next few days. I had to wear long sleeves so my parents didn't see my wrists cut. Needless to say, nothing helped or got better. I just can't believe I tried to take my own life. Despite all the negatives that had happened in the past few months, I still had a lot going for me. I was starting dental assisting school, I had a great job and made a few new friends along the way. My best friend has been by my side since all of this happened. She keeps me grounded and is always there for me when I need her. My husband always makes me feel good about myself, that I am enough, that I have a wonderful life ahead of me. He is always there for me no matter what mood I'm in. My whole life has completely changed. This is the first time I've been happy in a LONG time.

If you're ever feeling like you are not enough, please know you are. There are so many things to look forward to in the future. You have to have some patience, but your time will come to shine. No one deserves to feel like the world is against them. To feel like you don't deserve to live. YOU DO. Everyone does. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, IM ALWAYS here for you.

briellaann.rodriguez
Jan 25

Thank you for sharing this with us. You are so right; everyone is worth it. We wouldn’t have been placed on this earth if we didn’t have a purpose on it. Sometimes, especially for many of us, life can be hard. Downright cruel even. Sometimes our loss and subsequent grief weigh so heavy on us that it feels like we’re drowning. But we can’t succomb to the waters. We must swim.

0
New Posts
  • juliejean
    Mar 10

    Who am I now?

    It’s been 3 years and 4 months since my mother died. It’s been 4 months since I ended a 3 year long relationship that ultimately ended because I have no idea who I am. I am 21 years old with no idea what I want to be when I grow up No idea where I am supposed to fit in No idea who I’m supposed to fit in with. I have felt so lost the past 3 years with the loss of my mom and on top of that I was in this relationship that was so new to me. Here I am 3 years later still without my mom but also without my relationship. And I just want to figure out who I am and where I belong in the world.
  • Alexa Trent
    Feb 18

    Mirrors

    I never liked mirrors. I never liked to look at myself. I couldn’t look at myself. From being a child who thought “I’m not like the pretty girls” growing up to a teenager “I’m not thin enough” a little older and all those thoughts are just me looking back at myself saying I’m not good enough. I was never good enough. In my head I was never the daughter my mom wanted, or the athlete my dad invested so much money into. I was scared of who I was and what I was becoming. So scared that the only way I could look at myself was though eyes that were altered. From starvation to substances to sex I looked at myself and while I hated myself I was able to see someone other than myself. Today I look at myself, I see those eyes those high eyes those tired eyes, those hungry eyes. I look at myself right in the eyes and see who I am. I see that kid that was scared and that was never good enough, but I see someone who can see past all that and know that where I am at today is far from where I was but still far from where I am going. I work on myself everyday so I can see clearly who I am and who I will become.
  • For The Hayters
    Feb 7

    "We are the heroes far too often that do the healing and the saving, when in reality we ourselves need to be healed. " - Anonymous

    This is coming from a first responder, But I also want to bring light to our profession. We are the heroes far too often that do the healing and the saving, when in reality we ourselves need to be healed. My experience as a first responder has brought me to the lowest of lows, and this is where my story begins. I have struggled with PTSD for years now. Several months ago it finally became the biggest monster in an empty room. I came home from shift like I always do but this night was different. I didn’t make dinner, I didn’t fold my uniform for the next day, I came home telling myself I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow. I went to bed early which was unusual for me. In the middle of the night I was having a night terror, full of the scenes I’ve witnessed in my career. Half awake and terrified I reached for my off duty weapon in my night stand and held it to my head. Without a second thought I pulled the trigger. I prayed it would get the images out of my head. I didn’t want feel the pain or see it anymore. Somehow that night I had a guardian angel watching over me. I had forgotten to load my gun. I pulled the trigger and nothing happened. I fell to my floor in tears wondering why?? Questioning what I was thinking, why I was still here. It took me a while to realize it, but I am still here to make a difference. I’m here to give a voice for first responders because we suffer in silence. Big strong heroes are not allowed to be weak. No brother or sister should suffer the ultimate pain. And if my words can keep just one officer, EMT, or fire fighter alive than my work here is done. I’m here today for a reason, and it’s to make sure no one suffers alone. Thank you. 
  • Black Facebook Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black Twitter Icon

© 2019 FOR THE HAYTERS