single mother

Hey everyon! So i I shared my story on the “ your life stor “ section but I’d thought I’d share it here too. I wanna reach as many people as I can to show you that no matter how hard life may get or the depression, you will always come out on top. What I didn’t share on that part was that I was diagnosed with severe depression, severe anxiety and PTSD. I was told by my therapist that I am the definition of PTSD and if he had to explain what it was to someone he would tell my story. Which that right there should tell you a lot. But anywho so where do I begin. My life is just a book in its self. I’ll start from the beginning. Elementary school was when it ALL started, didn’t know heading into 4th grade what kind of ride I was in for the rest of my life. I started getting bullied by this kid who constantly would walk around making himself look pregnant and say “ look I’m Kayla “.. every single day he would do this, so other kids would join in and make fun of me. Telling the principal and teachers did absolutely nothing. He continued to torturer me for the rest of the year. 5th and 6th grade where just as bad, I was constantly called names such as “ Lard ass, Fatty, biggums” and many more.. as you can tell I went through hell through those years, not knowing more was coming that was just the beginning. I was heading into middle school now thinking things were going to be different and boy was I wrong. My new name was Piggy not Kayla but PIGGY. Everyone called me that even my own “Friends”. I wanted friends so bad that I let them call me it. I was miserable, sad, depressed and just let it continue. Now I’m headed to high school where it’s supposed to be the best times of are lives, but for me they where the worst YEARS of my life. I became the water girl for the football team and I regret doing that every day. The boys would say “ go get me a cheeseburger, I know you have one on you” . I absolutely hated myself, I attempted suicide 4 times throughout my high school experience. And when you have your own “father” not in your life and that does nothing but degrade you and makes it known that he doesn’t want you , just adds fuel to the fire. If my own father doesn’t love me then no one else will. But I survived all of that I came out on top. I went on to do a tour and shared my story saving young girls lives being there person, the person I always needed. I took a break for a few years, now I’m 22 years old and my story is far from over.. July 21st 2018 my life changed forever.. I was in a horrific car crash, was hit by a drunk driver, they thought I was dead on the scene. I had a broken wrist, neck, Clavicle and the worst of them all is my right arm is paralyzed. It’s been a very rough few months, Learning how to adapt to this new life of only having the use of one arm, the pain is unreal and I’m in pain throughout the day. I get barely little relief. The Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, it’s like I’m a toddler all over again. And even through this whole traumatic thing I still have haters people who just want me to fail even more . Saying things such as “ Karma is a bitch” and many other things. But I survived again and I’m still surviving, nothings EVER going to break me. I will always come out on top and be a survivor. I hope I’ll be able to help others again and teach them that no matter what to stay strong and believe in yourself. You will survive whatever you’re going through, you will win this battle. I believe in all of you!

I am currently weening/stopped the current medication I am on. I feel that I know what I need to do in order to be happy and not have anxiety. Exercise and eating the correct food are my 2 biggest things to do. My current issue is weening off this medicine. And being able to fight the symptoms I am feeling. I have done my research of supplements to take so I am currently taking magneisum citrate, fish oil, and 25mg of cbd oil (started that 2 days ago). But my God does my head still feel effed up. It's scares me to know how addicted my brain got to the meds I was taken. And it's scary to feel what I am feeling now. I never realized the side effects you feel even just simply missing a dose. I wish I would have known the severe side effects that you feel before taking the meds. I am on venlafaxine. I have now done my research and found out it's one of the worst ones to ween off of. And it has been bad. My head and eyes just feel weird. If I move my eyes too fast I get a little woozy. I know it seems as if I am rambling but it's so hard to find people who have tried this. It's also hard when you try to talk to someone about it and what you're feeling and you just feel like you sound crazy. So I just choose not to talk about it and just feel what I am feeling and know it eventually will go away. I don't get the support I'd like from my family since they all are on medication. They feel as if I should be taking something. They also rely on the medicine and dont to commit to doing the things they need to, to feel better. My symptoms of anxiety have never been severe in the past it was just something I felt I needed to do when I went through a tough time in my life. If you or someone you know has done this or is feeling similar to what I am feeling I'd love if you'd reach out. This post is not to scare anyone into not taking medication. Some people are meant to take it and that is absolutely okay!

I am 26 years old and I been seeing a therapist for about a month now and sometimes a day before I go in for that hour, I feel like giving up on my mental health.but then I talk myself into seeing how much I have gotten done in just 1 month..... about 2 years ago I had a car accident. In the vehicle I was driving was my mom and my 3 children and I was pregnant with my 4th child..I was driving back to Las Vegas from California after spending a few days with family. That day I didn't want to leave California I wanted to spend 2 more days since my uncle had died and I wanted to take my mom to the funeral. But because I had to bring my kids back to school and time with their dad I told my mom we had to leave so I started driving at 5 am. I had my sister's husband check my truck the day before I took off and everything was good. While I was on the road for 2 hours in with heavy traffic, I heard a pop in the back of the truck and then a second later another pop and my truck got out of control. I remember trying to control my truck as much as I could but I couldn't I had to press on the brake and I know your not suppose to when your tires pop..but that was my only option. I can hear my mom and son saying "may God's blood cover us" and my 2 other boys crying and screaming. And then everything went black and I just can feel the truck going over a ditch and spinning. Every turn was a big hit to my head against the window and then it stopped. I just remember looking back and my kids and seeing blood coming out my smallest child's face. I looked at my mom and saw she was ok so I told her to try to get out and help my kids because I was unable to unbuckle my seat belt and my right leg was stuck.. after what seemed for ever I hear a voice outside our car asking if we where alive and my mom responded Yes and to please help us and I can hear the voice saying OMG there are children. I asked my older son to try to take his seat belt off and try to help his brothers get out and he did we got them out thru the back window because the truck was upside down leaning on to my side so I had my mom on top off me hanging and I had to help her take her seatbelt off because she couldn't reaCh it. I told her to try and get out even if she had to step on me but I wanted her out to grab my kids..she got out and I can hear people saying that gas was leaking and I needed to hurry up. I tried my best to try to unbuckle myself but it didn't come off so some how pulled the leg part and tried to get my feet out and I thought I'll pull my leg out even if it brakes but at least I'll be out...I dragged my self out from the back and there was a lot of people helping out. We waited for and ambulance got to the hospital and we where all ok..we lost everything in the truck and my mom only remembered one of my sister's number because she has it for almost 15 years. Some nice family saw me and my mom at the hospital and my kids crying we had no money or nothing and we had not ate so they bought them a pizza. They offered us a ride to their home so my kids wouldn't cry.we accepted because they where very kind.my brother picked us up and we got home. Fast forward 4 months after the car accident I had my baby he was born with everything being okay. 1 year after having my son I was on the freeway and got an anxiety attack and flash back to the car accident. It happen a few times after that every time I needed to drive or get on the freeway. Didn't do nothing about it for about 5 months I would try to avoid driving as much as I could and almost never got on the freeway. Until 2 weeks ago after seeing the therapist for 3 hours I got on the freeway with fear but I was able to control my anxiety. Been doing great I drive without fear now. I am working on so much more but for now just knowing I can drive without an anxiety attack is the best feeling ever.