I am currently raising a family members child. My husband and I have never been able to have children which has been crushing at times but we have made the best of it. Well about a year and a half ago my husbands cousin called me asking if I could take care of her son until she managed to get her life back in order, we had offered her this opportunity a few months before when she had been arrested but she totally blew us off. We agreed to on the condition that she signed custody over so we wouldn't end up with the back and forth of having him and than not. I didn't file the paperwork with the courts right away because 1 it's a lot of paperwork and 2 I was really hoping she would start getting it together. Then we got a phone call from CPS, child protective services, asking if hewasw with us and saying they needed to see him. We invited them out to our home and ended up doing a home visit with them that day. At the end of the visit we were informed that we needed to file the custody paper work immediately or they were taking him into custody and away from his home for the last month. So I filed and was required to put a restraining order on the mother in order to keep CPS at bay. This created hate in the family dividing it dang near in half. 3 months of court and constant hate we found out the mother was lying to everyone and using drugs heavily. My husband and I were granted full custody with the mother not recieving visitation. Within 2 months of our final custody court date the mother was arrested for selling drugs, she ended up spending 9 months in jail and 3 months in rehab. The hate is still there and she still doesn't have visits but I know the day will come when she tries to enter back into his life. I hate the thought of her disrupting his life, he was under a year when we picked him up and has no recollection of her that he has shown. I am his mom and my husband is his dad we are the only parents he remembers and I am fearful he will not adjust well if she reentered his life. I'm afraid to leave my home in case she sees us in public and creates a scene. My life as a mom to someone elses child has been full of so many emotions happiness fear thankfulness frustration gratitude and anger. More and more people are raising family members children and yet no one talks about it or the emotions surrounding it. We feel alone and like we have no support because it is so taboo to talk about but we aren't alone we just have to remember that. Being a mom to someones elses child is the most rewarding thing I have done in life so far
We encourage you to contribute to – or even start – a conversation with others; to share your story here in an effort to help others feel related to, and, conversely, to gain the support you may be longing for. If even just one person could be reminded that they are not alone in this world, we’d consider this a success.
We understand that telling your story may be hard, especially in a public forum. If you’re someone who would like to share your story, but remain private, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We will post your story through our ‘For The Hayters’ profile, so that you may share with full anonymity. You know your story matters; We know so, too.