I have written a lot on this website. It makes me feel so much better to get this stuff off my chest. I love not being judged by anyone like any social media site. I haven’t really spoken much about my love life, but this is when my depression really set in. I promise it’s not cheesy! I was 14, he was 16. We were in band. I only saw him once at my house, but he was with a friend of my brothers. We started talking at a Football game. We instantly clicked. Everything moved a little fast. We started having sex 4 months into our relatio. We never had sex before, it was so awkwar. I didn’t want to do it much after that. We did, but he always begged me to not use a condom. I always said no. But one day I have in so he would shut up. But I was scared, I was on birth control but I had some pregnancy scares. Especially with him not wearing a condom. Anyways, we always had fun in whatever we did. But after 2 years of dating, things got rocky. I only got to see him on the weekends because he worked and I was still in school. He claimed I was too clingy because I called him at 10:45 to make sure he was up and coming to see me like we planned. He wouldn’t answer his phone much but he always had an excuse why he didn’t answer. I got more irrirated with him than I ever had with anyone. I had a graduation party and New Year’s Eve party. He got pretty tipsy, I wasn’t much of a drinker. Anyways I fell asleep first. I was woken up both parties with him having sex with me. It was very screwed up but I never said anything, I didnt want him to be dissapointed in me. About a week after my New Years eve party, he broke up with me in the shittiest way possible. I was sick with the stomach virus. He came over and we cuddled and watched movies all day. We even watched a movie with our song in it. I said I’ll always love you more when I hear this song. He said yeah. Well I fell asleep and he had left. My house was empty. I was angry that he left without telling me because he would always wake me up for a kiss goodbye. I called him and he came back. I was in bed annoyed he left. He came to my bedside and said listen I’m not happy with you anymore. It absolutely broke me. I cried and begged him to talk about it with him, that we could work out anythin. He was silent. After 20 minutes of begging, I become SO pissed off. I told him to leave, and he didn’t. I almost threw a cast iron skillet at him. Well after that, I found out the real reason he broke up with me. He cheated and I should’ve known. I was so naive in high school. About a year into our relationship he was caught making out with a girl behind the bandroom. I never liked her. She tried to be best friends with me and I thought it was sincere. Then we went to New York on a band trip. She was flirtin and making sexual innuendos the whole trip. We were walking on the street and she grabbed his hand and held it for a while. That made me so mad. But I never said anything. After that she was a real bitch to me. She treated me like a little kid in school, dragging me to my spot in band or making me feel like shit because of something I did. Apparently they were screwing around for a while. 2 weeks after we broke up they were together. That’s when I lost it. I was so upset that he picked this fat ass bitch over me. But you know what? I’m so glad I don’t have him in my life anymore. I’m happily to the love of my life. He treats me like such a queen and he is the sweetest person. sometimes life puts us in shitty situations. There’s always something to look forward to in the future🖤
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You should never have to beg anyone to stay. The saying, " true love is letting them go and seeing if they return to you," is all too true. If he wasn't happy - or was foolishly splitting his attention amongst two or more women - begging him to remain by your side is only going to make him feel suffocated and more confident in his decision. It will never actually change his mind. Let this be a lesson to anyone else on here who is struggling in a similar relationship paradigm. I am sorry you were ever made to feel like YOU weren't good enough, but am so glad you found someone who no longer makes you second-guess your worth :)