It took a lot for me to write this but after reading so many other stories I thought I would share mine. When I was 15 years old I found out I was pregnant. It was the most terrifying thing to experience. Jump ahead to when I was in labor. My child’s dad was there and we were together. After my child was born a friend of mine came to tell me she had seen him having sex in his car with another girl while I was in labor. I ended up being 15, single and now a new mother. My parents were huge support system. When I was 18 I moved out, thinking it was best because I wanted to be with my child’s father and my parents disapproved. I ended up pregnant again, still in high school, struggling to make payments and not working. I ended up in so much pain and in the hospital. My mother told me either I get rid of the baby or she will take my son and disown me. My child’s dad was a cheater, he was addicted to drugs and was very controlling. I was forced to do something I never thought I would. Jump ahead a couple years and I finally graduated high school. Few years later my mom tried to kill herself. I got a call from my younger brother saying they were on their way to the hospital and that she cut her wrists. She ended up with 32 stitches and promised she wouldn’t drink anymore. 3 days later I wake up to pounding on my door and my dad crying. The cops called and said my mom had been in an accident and didn’t know if she was alive. Turns out she got super drunk, too the drunk and went down a curvy road. The only reason she’s alive is because she was so intoxicated. With empty promises to never drink again, she was home. 2 weeks went by and my little brother was getting married. It was hard for my mom not drink. She hated my dad, she hates all us kids. The day after she kicked my dad out. She ended up calling us and being strange. I got nominated to go check on her, she ended up punching me in the face. She was so drunk, she was not my mother. She ended up getting arrested, restraining orders and threats of a lot of jail time. My mom went to treatment and by the grace of God she has been sober 2 years. My dad on the other hand is having medical issues that no doctor can figure out. He’s having seizures that’s aren’t seizures. With all that life is throwing at me it’s hard to stay positive. I’m still trying to forgive my parents, myself and I’m trying to be a person I would want my child to look up too. I graduated college with my teaching license, I help everyone, I can make everyone around me feel loved but at the end of the day, I’m the one crying in my pillow wishing for all this heartache to go away. I was ready to give up. I had thoughts no one should ever have. I had a choice to either end it or get help. & therapy was the best choice I have ever made. I know life could be worse and that things could have been worse but this pain is awful. Therapy has been a life saver. I hope everyone that feels some what of pain can get help like I have.
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