"I’m married to a man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is possibly a Psychopath" - Anonymous

Firstly, I think it is extremely important that you recognize that you reaching out, immediately makes this a story of success. I spent almost 5 years with a man who was extremely abusive, mentally, physically, in every way he possibly could be. Recognizing that this is a situation that you need to be free from is the biggest and most important part. I commend you for taking the first step. What helped with me leaving was recognizing that it couldnt get any worse. I spent so long thinking that maybe it would change. But at the risk of sounding harsh, it wont change. He doesnt deserve you or your children. Leaving will be the hardest, most freeing, and most powerful thing you ever do for yourself and your children. It is amazing that you have the support needed because support is what gets you through some of the worst times. I send you nothing but the most positive vibes, I know how hard this can be and you will do it tremendously. Love yourself, and your kids and you will find power you never knew you had. Without sounding cheesy love is the most powerful thing in the world, and it will get you through things you never knew possible.

coming from my experience with an emotionally abusibe relationship, leaving will be the the hardest, scariest, most freeing thing you can do. Know your worth, and don’t let his words manipulate your thinking. I moved 5 hours away from home to be with him, and when I left him I started back over with nothing. In the year since leaving I have become the happiest most confident version of myself, and know that you can become that too. Sending love and strength your way, you got this mamma <3

Sending tons of positive thoughts and lots of prayers your way. I have been in your shoes. I dated a guy who was mentally and emotionally abusive, but never physically. He would back me into corners like he would hurt me, but he didn’t. He called me every name in the book. Cracked my windshield when I tried to get away from him. We lived with his parents and they did nothing to help me especially when I was backed into a corner. I was with him for 3.5 years. I lost my family. I lost my friends. I had no control over my life. He knew all my passwords. Watched every move I made. Went to my jobs to make sure I was working. I tried leaving countless times but because I had no where to go I kept going back. Eventually I got my family back little by little. My oldest sister invited me to Florida to see my parents and spend time with them. I was shockingly allowed to go but he called and texted every minute to keep tabs on me. We had an explosive fight on NYE when I was supposed to be spending time with my parents. I flew home and I cried for days because I missed my family and became severely depressed. Somehow I hatched a plan with my oldest sister and when he and his family were gone we packed up my stuff and I bolted. She lived a mile from him unfortunately so he would drive by. He made threats but the cops couldn’t do anything. I blocked him but still was in contact via email. My family busted me and suggested I go to Florida for a while. The distance would help. We had tried this once before when I first met him and it didn’t work so we were all apprehensive. So I packed a bag, quit my job and I went to Florida. I made sure I didn’t contact him. Started a new FB page and got back the people I hadn’t had in my life for a long while. Made plans and was in Florida for about 6 weeks. Somehow I broke the control. I found myself again. I flew back home and haven’t been in contact with him since. He has tried to contact me. Has tried throwing in my face that his new GFs were far prettier and that my then boyfriend now husband was ugly as hell. His family has tried contacting me. I ignore it all. Fast forward I am a stronger version of the person I used to be. I am independent and married a MAN not a BOY as my then boyfriend now husband said to me the first night we hung out. I’ve had to work through issues of the damage done but I’m out and away and so thankful every day that I left. You can do it. Use your kids as your strength. It will be hard. It will be so damn hard especially with today’s technology. He will fight and do EVERYTHING he can to bring you back but you have to stay strong. Get as far away as you possibly can. Completely break the ties that bind you. You are and will be in my prayers. You can do it!!!

I was in a similar situation for almost 10 years. My ex-husband had a lot of health and emotional issues going into our relationship (I was 20 and he was almost 22) and I am a caregiver naturally so I felt I could save him. Within a few months, the emotional, mental and physical abuse started. Each time, he was able to manipulate me into believing I was the problem and how could he feel bad for something he did when he was drunk and couldn't remember. He would mix pain medications, alcohol and other drugs to the point that I could look at him, and know he was not him anymore. We did take a 6 month break 4 years into it and I thought that made all the difference. But after getting engaged once we were back together, I quickly realized it was the same thing all over again. He physically came at me one month before our wedding. I took pictures of the results of it on me and told him and myself that this was the last time and if he ever did it again - I was gone. Fast forward to a year and a half into our marriage and I was so done and checked out from the emotional and mental abuse, that I was just waiting for him to hit me so I had the valid reason to leave. And in December of 2016, he did it three times in one week. Whether it was pushing me down or into a wall or throwing things at me or the final straw - spitting in my face and pushing my head into a wall - I stood my ground and I left. I realized in a few short days I literally had nothing left of me to give anymore and in order to survive, this was my only option. I was very lucky to have my parents, sisters, family and close friends' support. Only my one sister really knew what was happening and over the past two years, I've gotten more comfortable sharing my story. I did have to play things very particularly in approaching the divorce. I made sure he saw I did try after that to work on things and I knew for myself, I had to know I tried everything - regardless of knowing the end result was divorce. I also waited over 8 months to actually file because he was on my insurance and I wanted him to be ok healthwise. But once that day finally came, it was an incredible relief. I do still struggle sometimes with what my life was compared to now and almost missing the routine of our abusive relationship. Now at 31 - I am my own hero and know what I do daily is for me and only me. You'll be ok. Just take baby steps and put yourself first for once for your own health and for your kids.

I too grew up with an abusive addict for a father and I was rejected regularly throughout my life by my mother I was married for 20 years, he was an amazing husband and father and then he began driving truck over the road and started using drugs to stay awake, cheating on me with random people he would meet on chat sites, and was constantly threatening to come and get me and kill me. 1st I bought a gun and it went EVEYWHERE with me, I even slept with it under my pillow (loaded). Then, I had a little of each of my paychecks direct deposited to a secret debit card that I kept at my desk at work so he wouldnt find it and when I had enough to put money down for a small place, my 4 children and I left...the same day I went and got an order for protection/restraining order. It took ALOT of time and determination but I had a plan and my kids and I got out.

Once you see the problem and start reaching out you are well on your way to a new life, a new happiness, and a new sense of freedom!

Hope this helps, I'll be praying for you and your future

This hit home for me right now. I'm in this exact situation where my husband is a narcissist and is abusive. We just had a incident of physical abuse this week and was kicked out of my house. I didn't call the police and just left. My children are still at home and I need to get them back. My struggle is going to file for a restraining order and the shitstorm that is coming with it. I feel like I am weak and cannot do this to him, even though its clear he did it to me. I'm scared of what will happen, but I also need to be back home with my kids.

Thank you for sharing your story and being brave. Your bravery is admirable and wish you the best of luck.

You are strong, brave and capable of making these changes for both you and your children. As a survivor or mental and emotional abuse, I too was with a narcissistic, manic depressive, bipolar, psychopath. The manipulation is unmanageable, the avoidance of what is really happening is overwhelming, and the constant want to just be enough never ends. I am here to tell you that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and you will get there. Believing in yourself and knowing that you are doing what is best for you and your family has to be the number one priority. If you have the opportunity to go and see someone to talk ang get help, I strongly advise you to. What helped me was noticing my strength in telling a stranger what was wrong, and how I felt. When I realized that I could tell a stranger my utmost personal and darkest secrets, this is when I saw myself as the strong independant woman that I once knew I was. You have to trust yourself and your instincts that what you see wrong with the relationship does exsist, and your family and friends will endlessly support you and what is to come. After leaving my ex of 4 years, I became myself again and am able to now say that I made the best decision of my life by leaving him because I am now in a healthy relationship, and with a man that I belong with and treats me how I always should have been. It also resinates with me that I heard from my ex's girlfriend after me, and she said he treated her the exact same and lied about his entire life with me. This just proves to you that they do not change, they still live the life of a liar, and it is not you. It will forever be them, and how they are wired (unless helped). I believe in you and know that you are capable of this change. Always remember that you were okay before you met him, you will be okay after you leave him. Please feel free to reach out if you need help or further guidance.