I have been dating a guy for the past 5 years. We met at 21 and are still together. Being this young I did not even consider religion a topic of discussion and that I would be in the middle of it. When I told my parents I was first dating him they asked what religion he was and I said Muslim. My dad lost it and refused to talk about it any further.. he has very strong beliefs about that culture due to world issues today surrounding it. I am Catholic but not religious.. just believe in Christmas. I never spoke to my parents again about this. 5 years later and they still dont know I am dating him because it would just bring alot of drama. I feel im living two different lives. The one where I have met his immediate family and go out together and then the other life where I am single and my family doesnt even know about him.
The other issue is that he does not have his life established whereas I do and know what I want. I have a full time job, my own car and have goals I want to achieve. He on the other hand takes care of his family but is comfortable staying in one place not building himself up with a career or car.
We have different beliefs but we love each other so much and dont have eyes for anyone else. We trust each other 100%. He wants to raise his kids Muslim but he is very non-traditional since hes the youngest of the family And says he will follow it once he has a family. He doesnt meet my needs especially in communication. I try to bring these issues up to him and he turns the other way and ignores them and tells me im being dramatic. Im not being dramatic, I just want to know where he sees us in the future, if there even is an US. If not, I need to move on so I can find someone on the same page as me. Should it be this hard to be with someone if he is unable to meet my needs? I want to build with my partner and I feel very stagnant with him but I love him so much and cant picture myself without him. Do I break up? Ultimatums probably wont work. I dont want to wait around anymore and I want to have the guts to say goodbye but its too scary to even think about so I stay. It has been eating me up inside everyday because I feel like I have no control over the situation. Do I need to leave in order for him to realize how much he really loves me to get himself established? Im tired of the uncertainty in my future.
You can love him but maybe as a friend but do you love him as a partner? Don't settle for what you dont want in your life. You can not know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone in 1 year it can take 6 or more years and maybe you are just now finding out.