I am currently coming out of a 5 year, same sex relationship. This was my first relationship with a female and I thought it would be the only one, because I believed she was the one. Also suffering from severe anxiety and depression this doesn't help me cope with the break up.
After spending 5 years building a life with someone and one day to find out they are leaving because 'I'm just not into this anymore' has been the worse feeling ever. To make is more difficult is that fact there was a new female employed at her work, and they became very close. Let me get into more details about what happened.
September 2013 - We began our relationship.
September 2013 - September 2018 - We encountered endless amounts of memories, life experiences and planning our future together. Take the steps to start a family, talking about marriage, buying a house together and much more.
September 2018 - our 5 year anniversary, I bought an engagement ring for her. Planning to purpose on New Years Eve in Niagara Falls. She began hanging out with this 'new girl from work' (who is married and has 2 children & I will call her 'J'). I didn't think anything of it, just two girls being friends and having fun. Until it became apparent that it was all about J. My girlfriend was always texting her, hanging out with her, J was always calling and texting my girlfriend cause she needed help (she was having issues with her husband). I eventually questioned it and became jealous because she just wasn't being herself. She told me there is nothing to worry about, they are just friends.. I believed her, because after 5 years she never did anything to make me think different. I came to realize my anxiety was out the roof, after having a complete breakdown and my first panic attack. I reached out to my doctor for help and the following week began going to a councellor, my full intentions to make myself better and bring more to our relationship. Well .... then life happened
October 2018 - My life came crashing down..... J needed to get away from her husband, so my girlfriend had no problem inviting her and her kids into my home without really asking how I feel about it. They ended up staying the weekend and it was that Sunday night that SHE LEFT ME! J was present in our home when this happened. J told me that she isn't into girls, so I needed to stop saying they had something going on.
About a week or 2 later, my ex, J and her 2 kids take off to Toronto for the weekend. And I get messages on Facebook from J's husband saying he needed to talk to me. I ignored him. He messaged again sending me screen shots of messages between J and 'my girl'. They are saying they love each other, want to take the next steps together, how beautiful she is .. blah blah blah. I was a complete mess and called to confront her. She couldn't deny it cause I had the proof. She tried to say sorry....
A week later, I let her back into my home. Not as a couple. We were going to be civil and figure things out. I was a mess.. crying, screaming, hurting! I slept on the couch for weeks. She would come and go as she wanted. But I had no control because we weren't together.
November 2018 - I was out with a friend till 2am. I pull into my drive way and see J's vehicle in the parking lot. I run upstairs to confront the situation.. my ex is sleeping in bed, J is not here. Shes still in her vehicle. I end up waking up my ex and asking why she is here. She says she doesn't know, sure enough J buzzes my apartment. I snapped and ran downstairs to confront her, but she was gone! My ex ended up coming downstairs, getting in her vehicle and taking off after J. Meanwhile I'm left at home, unable to stand from my emotions, my body shaking and can't believe what just happened. Apparently J's husband assaulted her and she came to tell my ex she was safe...