"HE WAS BRAGGING ABOUT RAPING AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL" - Anonymous

I was freshly 18 years old. Just moved into my college apartment. I was "fresh-meat" as the guys liked to put it. They stood outside, watching as my roommates and I lugged box after box up the stairs. Not one offered to help. Not that we would have welcomed it because we were strong, independent young women who didn't need a man's help. Anyways, fast forward to that weekend. My school was known for parties. We all went to another apartment and just played drinking games until the security guard showed up, and I ducked out the door. That's when I met my college boyfriend, D. He helped me hide. That's also when I met his friend, M, my attacker, just did not know it. M was a friendly guy who seemed harmless. A little odd, but I wasn't threatened at all. I was comfortable around him and we were friends on social media. A few months into the relationship with my boyfriend, D went away for a basketball tournament. I had to stay back because I had work that weekend. One of my high school friends lived an apartment under me and since the apartments were a ghost town, he asked if I could drive him and M to the liquor store. I said sure. Everything was fine. We bombed down to the store and blasted music and danced in our seats the entire way. They bought me a Blue Raspberry 4Loko. We got back to our apartments, and they both came up to mine because it was clean and I had a TV. We sat on the couch and talked and talked. My friend left to go back to his room, M stayed. I barely had anything to drink, but I wasn't feeling right, something was wrong. M was telling me about how fucked up girls were and how this girl that he had a massive crush on wouldn't give him the time of day. That's the last of what I remember. I woke up in a pool of my own blood, and no clothes on. M was next to me, naked. I screamed and wrapped my blood soaked comforter around me and told him to get out. He wouldn't. I said "You raped me....I didn't want this. You took advantage of me". I was talking so loud, he told me to shut up and he would leave. He got his clothes on and as he was walking out the door, he said "if you tell anyone, I will slit your fucking throat. Nobody will believe you anyways." I was terrified. I was all alone in my apartment, I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I went home the next day to wash my bed stuff. I somehow managed to hide it from my parents and put on a front like everything was fine. I buried it down, deep inside. I hadn't forgotten, but I chose to not remember. My boyfriend found out one night while they were all hanging out. I had never seen him so angry. He didn't believe me. He told me that M said I begged for it. That I wanted it. I was distraught. After hours and hours of going back and forth, he chose to be on my side. However, he was still friends with the guy. All of his friends knew as well. M was bragging that he banged me and I screamed with pleasure. HE WAS BRAGGING ABOUT RAPING AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL. About a week or two later, D and I went to a house party of one of our friends. M was there. While my boyfriend was getting us drinks in the kitchen, M sidled up next to me and said "I know you liked it. We should do it again" and grabbed my butt. This time, my boyfriend saw it happen. But he chose to ignore it. He didn't want any bad blood. This went on for months. I eventually stopped going to parties and hanging out with my friends. I couldn't stand M. He was everywhere. Only a handful of people know about this. My current fiancee knows because I felt I needed to tell him about my past. My best friends know. But that is it. My family doesn't know because I'm terrified to tell them. I don't want them to judge me for something that happened almost 10 years ago. I don't want them to brush it off like I was young and stupid. It sits with me every single day. And I can tell you, I have never put myself into that situation ever again.