When I was 13 my brother In law started molesting me, I was young and didn’t realize what was really going on. I turned 14 and he was still doing it, but only when no one was home and he was watching me because my mom and sister would be at work. It finally ended when I was almost 15. I never told my mom or my sister because I felt like it was my fault.
I'm now 34 almost 35 and married but it still bothered me to this day. I never told my husband because I didn’t want him to be mad at me or leave me. To this day I still want to come out and tell my family but I'm scared too, I think about this all the time. I no longer have to worry about him being in my life because my sister divorced him about four years ago, I was so happy. They had three boys together and I've always wondered if he might of messed with them too.
Do you think it's too late to say something or should I just keep my secret, thanks so much for listening to our stories its nice to know there is someone I can tell in secret.
I would tell your truth. Just dont have any expectations for how others will react. Do it for youself. You will be freed.
It's never too late but like Lisa said don't have any expectations...and if you think it will make you feel better to tell ur husband tell him if he loves you nothing should change.
I have been a therapist for over 10 years. Please read what I am about to write:
You are very brave to begin to have this conversation. It takes a very strong person to talk about sexual abuse/trauma. It is NOT TOO LATE to address this issue. IT IS NOT TOO LATE to heal from it. Though we can not change what has happened we can heal in various types of ways. I would suggest that you seek a counselor (psychologytoday.com) and once you feel comfortable to share your story you can work with him/her on how to move forward. Legally, there are different statutes of limitations on how much time has passed which may impact the ability to press charges, but even bringing awareness can possibly save another child who he likley has or will prey on.
Lastly, for YOU, talking is healing. Ask your therapist about a trauma narrative or other ways to process this part of your past.
You have taken an amazing first step- do not stop. None of that abuse was your fault. Read that again- NONE OF THAT ABUSE WAS YOUR FAULT. Best of luck to you on this journey. You got this!
Thank you all so much, I'm the person this is about and I feel so much better already for finally telling someone what happened. I'm ready to tell my husband so tonight when he gets home from work im.gonna sit down and tell him. I plan on reaching out to a therapist to talk too, because honestly I've never thought about doing that.
You are a survivor !! A quote I often tell my clients (I’m a domestic violence advocate) is this -
You are not your abuse. You are not what they did to you.
You are not your trauma.
You are the cleverness that survived.
You are the courage that escaped.
You are the power that hid and protected a tiny spark of your light.
You will fan that spark into a bonfire of rage and love and with it you will burn all their words and lies to ash.
Hugs 🤗